Wednesday, August 27, 2008
How to deal with a difficult person
Having dealt with the most difficult people ever in my life i came to the conclusion that sometimes we call a person "difficult" when we fail to understand them or when we fail to deal with them. But as I met more people i started to realize that some people have certain combinations of personality traits that makes it impossible to deal with them even if you are a communication skills expert. The only way to deal with those people is to understand these difficulties they have in their personalities then to confront them with it. Whether the difficult person thinks that he is always right or whether he believes he knows anything, trying to convince him with your opinion at the situational level will always fail, because unless you face them with their own difficult personality traits they will keep thinking that its the situation that has to be blamed and not them. Mr I know everything: Thinking that he knows everything doesn’t make him a difficult person, but when the person knows nothing yet has this belief then he is a typical difficult person. Mr i am always right: if someone is stubborn in addition to being a narcissist, he will then think that he is always right and he will never change his mind especially if someone tried to pressure him. Mr and Mrs victim: lots of people think that they are victims but some of them refuse to stop playing the victim’s role even when solutions are offered to them . Those are what we call drama queens, they feel bad when anything happens then keep playing the victim’s role even if everybody around them kept trying to help them out. the rest... There are lots of other types of difficult people but the principle that makes them difficult remains the same, they have two personality traits that together block the road to any further negotiation with them. Those people will always keep thinking that they are doing nothing wrong and that others carry the blame until someone who is brave confronts them with the truth.there is only one way to deal with such people, confronting them and telling them about their complexes, if they didn’t respond then you should never deal with them. Those people will still act the same way until someone draws their attention to what they are doing or until they realize that everybody is being repelled away from them because of their behavior.The important advice i have for you is not to confront them while arguing with them,simply because this will result into a fight and their defensive complexes will become activated. If you want to convince them that what they are doing is wrong then you have to pick a time where they are feeling happy and relaxed so that they listen to you to the end. Don't lose your temper or shout not to give them any reason to resist or to activate their defenses. Once you tell them so, they will start to have doubts and then as they face life situations they will reconsider that you have told them. Whenever they will come across a new situation they will remember your words until one day they will discover that they are doing something.it don't need to make someone believe what you are saying immediately in order to convince him, you just need to make him have some doubts and then the other life situations he will face will do the rest of the job. Confront those people at a time where they can listen to you, because its the only way to deal with them. As we were having our duty at a psychiatric ward i realize this stuffs..and learned how do people suffer psychosis, the questions why.what,how answered..of coarse psychiatric patients are differ from normal ones, but those patients was once a normal then..