Saturday, May 10, 2014
I still can't believe that you're gone. Wala na yung mgtatanggol at mgsasaway everytime kuya Mike and I had petty arguments. I once told Jess that I am not even reaching the DABDA stages. Feels like I am in illusion that everything had happened was just a bad dream and now it's over and you back on working night shift and or day shift. That I am just unable to check you in your house. That you were just too busy playing clash of clans and can't even get out of your home. Seems everything is not sinking in. Not on the moment that I am about to seek justice for you. I feel like I am full of anger and hatred . Not to anyone else but to those who have let you suffered too much. I am trying to console myself that it was really meant to happen as it is because His(God) will. The lousy accident, the unquestionable bruises inside your body stating that need not to questioned what had happened. The thing that made me furious and full of anger were the people behind. I am just human, I accept the fact that it is God's will but I am not able to forgive those people. Who am I going to forgive wherein no one is taking responsible of the accident. I don't know how long will I feel empty and unhappy. I really feel that something's missing. Though were not constantly seeing but the time you and Ate moved in here made me feel excited where I dreamed and we planned of us having good times more than the usual .How can it be if you're not here anymore? How can we have inuman sessions wherein our eldest cannot go in our flow. How can we both laugh unto somebody else and somebody else fault/ life drama. How can we laugh and be mean to our neighbor while you as the good guy and me the villain. I can do such stuff with anyone but it's different doing it with you. I really misses you Kuya. You were more than a tropa than a brother. I rarely received sermon from you. I remember the first and last time you slapped me when I was denying that I am not drunk and I puke in front of you come next morning you apologized and told me not to hide from you for you to know on how to cover me up. These were just memories. Till next time Kuya Chris.