Tuesday, December 29, 2015

A Slowly but Surely Comeback

I blog hopped this morning while I am looking after my kids. I dropped to Nene's blog . I feel renewed dropping by on her page. I just realized though most of us me , Jean and Nene domain blogs left undone, Nene continue her blog in a free domain site. Then reading her unstoppable journey makes me feel like I miss blogging again. I have so much to tell. To share. Instagram or  Pinterest  not satisfies me as I share my stories from posting pictures. I still don't have excess time from the hats of being a wife, employee, a mom, a daughter and a friend yet I just realize traveling  more than an hour is enough to complete my posts. Dressing up my blog excites me again. I did lost the opps that makes blogging a plus but I know I can win them back or welcome new ones.
Soon to be mom of two (Ferry) thank you for inspiring me. I will try to update the lovers, Lyxn and Klyd's blog and if not too much I will revive the Mommy Kharen's blog. :)

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Diary Again

I feel so down this has been the longest but I know I am able to manage it. I always think that there were others suffering worst than what I can think of. I don't feel comfortable writing the reasons behind but letting me typed in the feeling, made me feel somehow better with the back ground music of Slapshock, Quezo, Wolfgand, Urbandub and other local rock band. Suits my ear and my feelings. I don't know why I feel so comforted with these kind of genre. But the thing about listening to it again makes me miss my brother so much. It relaxes me and forget what I am into but misses him and change the feeling into sadness of missing him. Sigh* cannot get everything in one shot ayt?. I almost tried posting in my account about tired of getting strong. Yet I deleted it. It shows signs of weakness I know and spread negativity online and to my friends news feed. So I thought not a good idea. My blog is my diary. And not everyone in my fb can see my blog. Not everyone will be interested anyway. That means I can still express my frustrations here. 

Saturday, May 16, 2015

If Asking Me Why?

I know I am still upset trying to cover it with my so called busy life. Yet I can feel it. Especially when I am blogging.

  • Why I am not always at your tomb or visiting you Kuya? 
        - Because I can't. I may be the last one , it may have been a year, but still I am in denial.
  • Why I can't go into a drinking session?
        - Because I still remember you and the good times drinking with you and I can't hold unto my tears if that happens and I know it sucks. 
  •   Why I can't cry , mourn for you?
      - Cause my head says everything is just a bad dream. My mind says I can't be soft I was the only left to bear the pain. I cannot mourn if my head is not yet accepting the fact that you're not here anymore.
  •   Why I am not listening to the music genre we used to listen to?
      - It makes me cry a river. Just by hearing those , memories keep on flashing back instantly.

I've already posted it that there were a lot of reason to be happy . I am setting my mind that way. I am surrendering all to Him. Yet I can feel emptiness. I rarely feel it because I want my mind to be always occupied and make my body dead tired yet when I am alone I am feeling something is missing. I even say to myself I am just a sister so what would it be for his wife and  our mother.  Mom always telling me I already forgotten about you. She said seems like what had happened is just that simple and it's nothing to me. She just don't know how much I am suffering for your lost yet I needed to be tough. Because I can't show to everyone that I wanted to breakdown. One of the reason why stopped blogging. I started this blog as a diary. I vent out and express through posting. Now I am doing it again. Maybe it could help me. Maybe not but I know someday I will be healed but doesn't mean I will forget you.

Starting Again

I never lost my passion in blogging. Let's just say I've been on break and too much occupied. Earlier today after a very tiring morning, from giving the 2 kids early needs, meal , bath and play time while looking after the shop. I feel so tired yet facing Facebook from time to time makes me more tired. Then I realized why not blog again?. It may not be that consistent again and it may not be a domain but this is where I started. I love documenting my story and reading it to the future how it was before.  So here I am gain starting to typed in while the terrible going 2 is asleep and the monster three ate is with with mom to the mall. 


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