I know I am still upset trying to cover it with my so called busy life. Yet I can feel it. Especially when I am blogging.
- Why I am not always at your tomb or visiting you Kuya?
- Why I can't go into a drinking session?
- Why I can't cry , mourn for you?
- Why I am not listening to the music genre we used to listen to?
I've already posted it that there were a lot of reason to be happy . I am setting my mind that way. I am surrendering all to Him. Yet I can feel emptiness. I rarely feel it because I want my mind to be always occupied and make my body dead tired yet when I am alone I am feeling something is missing. I even say to myself I am just a sister so what would it be for his wife and our mother. Mom always telling me I already forgotten about you. She said seems like what had happened is just that simple and it's nothing to me. She just don't know how much I am suffering for your lost yet I needed to be tough. Because I can't show to everyone that I wanted to breakdown. One of the reason why stopped blogging. I started this blog as a diary. I vent out and express through posting. Now I am doing it again. Maybe it could help me. Maybe not but I know someday I will be healed but doesn't mean I will forget you.