Friday, May 19, 2017

FO

I am now declaring that as of writing this, that I am not going to be the same me to πŸ˜‘ anymore. πŸ˜‘just an acquaintance. A colleague. I am very particular with my friends. I am honest to them, real, truthful, caring, funny , naughty and I am trusting the person  for me to say that we are friends. I only have few trusted friends and I don't care if its few. I am not that righteous but I don't let my friend to be in a wrong way of life. I can be a guide to be a better person( we will struggle together) help to be better and not to be something unacceptable with my standards and by the society. I share my, friends, cousins experiences not to brag but to let them know how was it, the  impact and outcome. No communication, no petty talks, no honesty, fake and not receptive so it's just an acquaintance.
Will treat the person the same as I treated the others. I will not be sensitive to what πŸ˜‘going to feel,  I can say what I want to say without hesitation, No barriers, if by chance πŸ˜‘got offended plain sorry will do.  I won't give a damn care. I don't need πŸ˜‘ friendship and I think it's mutual anyway. Good bye to you my trusted ( I thought) friend. * just a line in a song not totally related lo*
I came up with the realization after gathering literal words coming from πŸ˜‘ that it was all planned with πŸ˜‘ own intentions.  πŸ˜‘ befriended me for a purpose, to get near to πŸ˜‘ subject. πŸ˜‘ used me to enter the group. It was amazing a not so nice feeling! πŸ˜‘ did a great job! This how I can see things now.



Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Exposure


Not that I am going to post anything about something obscene or talent and what not.. It's simply about legs πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.. It's been so long that I am not wearing any kind of clothes that will expose my legs. It started when I get pregnant to my second baby. I got some allergies that leave scars to my skin. Since I am not into cosmetics that will help remove or reduce scars and I am also not fond of vegies, I immediately gave up the fight of a good skin.
I am into shorts and skirts during the time that I only have my first born which is also one root of me and my husband's misunderstanding. Then when the time that I initiate not wearing those, I think my husband was the happiest on my decision. 
Just recently that I realized that my scars were no longer visible, there were some but can't barely notice. I wore a dress to a birthday party. It's been so long and I felt a little ashamed but husband said it's okay. Besides we borrowed my brothers car, maybe one reason my husband agreed on me wearing that. We need not to travel commuting from one ba/puv to another. I felt I was like a teen, the time when we met the first time. It gives me additional feeling of confidence. (regains confidence actually) I think I can buy clothes that I want.. hmmm πŸ€”

Thursday, May 11, 2017

PTP : Coping

This time tagalog muna. Yung PTP sa fb permission to post. Paalam ako sa sarili kong blog. lol. Madalas na kasi kahit aware akong may grammar issues ako english talaga post ko dito. Una praktis, pangalawa para hindi masyado harsh at intense , pangatlo dahil sa blogging ops required. Regardless tumbling grammar mo basta english pumapatok naman at nababayaran. Anyway gusto ko lang mgpost ng tagalog. Ganado.. Na ooverwhelmed kasi ko sa mga bagay. Ang taas na ng upuan ko. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œYung isang friend ko ngsabi bilib daw sya sa pagiging positibo ko(drugs ba to lol) at matibay sa buhay. Oh well una maganda yung training ground ko ung buhay namen na mapapa #struggleisreal ka talaga at impluwensya ng nanay ko. Yung pagiging optimistic partly nun nahawa na lang ako sa asawa ko. Tapos yung isang chics na malapit sa puso ko #excousin sabi ang mature daw ng way of thinking ko. Na flatter ako oo pero minsan kasi literal na mind over matter. Tapos nitong huli tinanong ako ano daw ba pinagbabasa ko bakit parang ang light light at easy ng buhay ko. Sa totoo lang napakahina ko kaya, iyakin, maramdamin,negatron at madaling sumuko . Walang maniniwala pero totoo yun. Kaya minsan sa blog ko na lang dinadaan. Sulat, buntong hininga at dasal. At higit sa lahat lagi ko iniisip yung meron ako. Kumbaga gratefulness ang pairalin para happy life. Wala lang #mema langπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Disappointed


In my previous company I met good and best friends. Good friends that will guide you, mold you and laugh with you. Everyone is unique and not so righteous but everyone respects one another. It may not be that obvious but its real. There are differences but there's an acceptance. I was in an environment that I can say a best work place culture.


Then I expects. Moving from one place to another with a big hope that I will have the same community. With an open heart and patience and a big changes within I have expected a lot. And I got disappointed. I am used to different kinds of people but it stricken me that fast without me knowing. I was so disappointed at her. I let myself befriended to her because I thought we have the same visions, because I thought we have common beliefs about family, because I thought she is a better person that will lead me to a right path, because that's HOW she introduce herself. My fault that I hoped too much. Believed too much. I have a note in my station "Expect high on achievements and low on people" which was the very first of all sayings that I've printed yet I never learned my lesson. Almost weeks of stress and a little depression but realized that she never cared at all. Maybe it was just me who cared all this time. Note to self, I am formerly mean and I was taught to be nice, I became nice but was betrayed by my expectation but I won't be back to the old mean me just because of that failure. I can just walk away, avoid or don't give a damn care and I will be okay. Not all heart aches reason is from a lover sometimes it is also from a failure friendship. 

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