Friday, October 30, 2009

What's My Purpose

I'm turning 24 this November. I don't know why I feel like this. I am searching for my purpose. Turning 24 yet I can't prove anything on my existence. Visiting my old friends, colleagues on different networking sites making me more feel empty. I envy them.(Envy-even this attitude was not natural to me).  Either they had their different successful paths or own family. They were living for other people aside from themselves purposely. That was a for real next step journey. Why I am struck at this where I am. Still visions of my path was blurred. I am happy right now. With family,my guy and my friends. Yet still empty, because I know I don't have a life to be called mine. I learned of taking things slowly. Wait for the right time. Wait for my turn. Also learned never questions why to Him and never ask everything I wanted to but instead work for it. I know I've been so sinful on my acts from the past. Is this my karma now?.. If it is. Instead of mourning from it I will work for it. Turning everything positively. As long as I live I can still wait for my turn. I know I should be thankful cause I am still living. I just don't know how to get rid of this feeling of emptiness.

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