FO

I am now declaring that as of writing this, that I am not going to be the same me to her anymore. She is just an acquaintance. A colleague. I am very particular with my friends. I am honest to them, real, truthful, caring, funny , naughty and I am trusting the person  for me to say that we are friends. I only have few trusted friends and I don't care if its few. I am not that righteous but I don't let my friend to be in a wrong way of life. I can be a guide to be a better person( we will struggle together) help to be better and not to be something unacceptable with my standards and by the society. I share my, friends, cousins experiences not to brag but to let them know how was it, the  impact and outcome. No communication, no petty talks, no honesty, fake and not receptive so it's just an acquaintance.
Will treat the person the same as I treated the others. I will not be sensitive to what 😑going to feel,  I can say what I want to say without hesitation, No barriers, if by chance 😑got offended plain sorry will do.  I won't give a damn care. I don't need her friendship and I think it's mutual anyway. Good bye to you my trusted ( I thought) friend. * just a line in a song not totally related lo*
I came up with the realization after gathering literal words coming from her that it was all planned with her own intentions.  She make friends with me for a purpose, to get near to her subject. She used me to enter our group. It was amazing a not so nice feeling! She did a great job! This how I can see things now.

Exposure

Not that I am going to post anything about something obscene or talent and what not.. It's simply about legs 😂😂.. It's been so long that I am not wearing any kind of clothes that will expose my legs. It started when I get pregnant to my second baby. I got some allergies that leave scars to my skin. Since I am not into cosmetics that will help remove or reduce scars and I am also not fond of vegies, I immediately gave up the fight of a good skin.

I am into shorts and skirts during the time that I only have my first born which is also one root of me and my husband's misunderstanding. Then when the time that I initiate not wearing those, I think my husband was the happiest on my decision. 
Just recently that I realized that my scars were no longer visible, there were some but can't barely notice. I wore a dress to a birthday party. It's been so long and I felt a little ashamed but husband said it's okay. Besides we borrowed my brothers car, maybe one reason my husband agreed on me wearing that. We need not to travel commuting from one ba/puv to another. I felt I was like a teen, the time when we met the first time. It gives me additional feeling of confidence. (regains confidence actually) I think I can buy clothes that I want.. hmmm 🤔

PTP : Coping

This time tagalog muna. Yung PTP sa fb permission to post. Paalam ako sa sarili kong blog. lol. Madalas na kasi kahit aware akong may grammar issues ako english talaga post ko dito. Una praktis, pangalawa para hindi masyado harsh at intense , pangatlo dahil sa blogging ops required. Regardless tumbling grammar mo basta english pumapatok naman at nababayaran. Anyway gusto ko lang mgpost ng tagalog. Ganado.. Na ooverwhelmed kasi ko sa mga bagay. Ang taas na ng upuan ko. 😂😜Yung isang friend ko ngsabi bilib daw sya sa pagiging positibo ko(drugs ba to lol) at matibay sa buhay. Oh well una maganda yung training ground ko ung buhay namen na mapapa #struggleisreal ka talaga at impluwensya ng nanay ko. Yung pagiging optimistic partly nun nahawa na lang ako sa asawa ko. Tapos yung isang chics na malapit sa puso ko #excousin sabi ang mature daw ng way of thinking ko. Na flatter ako oo pero minsan kasi literal na mind over matter. Tapos nitong huli tinanong ako ano daw ba pinagbabasa ko bakit parang ang light light at easy ng buhay ko. Sa totoo lang napakahina ko kaya, iyakin, maramdamin,negatron at madaling sumuko . Walang maniniwala pero totoo yun. Kaya minsan sa blog ko na lang dinadaan. Sulat, buntong hininga at dasal. At higit sa lahat lagi ko iniisip yung meron ako. Kumbaga gratefulness ang pairalin para happy life. Wala lang #mema lang😂😂😂

If Asking Me Why?

I know I am still upset trying to cover it with my so called busy life. Yet I can feel it. Especially when I am blogging.

• Why I am not always at your tomb or visiting you Kuya? 

        - Because I can't. I may be the last one , it may have been a year, but still I am in denial.

• Why I can't go into a drinking session?

        - Because I still remember you and the good times drinking with you and I can't hold unto my tears if that happens and I know it sucks. 

•   Why I can't cry , mourn for you?

      - Cause my head says everything is just a bad dream. My mind says I can't be soft I was the only left to bear the pain. I cannot mourn if my head is not yet accepting the fact that you're not here anymore.

•   Why I am not listening to the music genre we used to listen to?

      - It makes me cry a river. Just by hearing those , memories keep on flashing back instantly.

I've already posted it that there were a lot of reason to be happy . I am setting my mind that way. I am surrendering all to Him. Yet I can feel emptiness. I rarely feel it because I want my mind to be always occupied and make my body dead tired yet when I am alone I am feeling something is missing. I even say to myself I am just a sister so what would it be for his wife and  our mother.  Mom always telling me I already forgotten about you. She said seems like what had happened is just that simple and it's nothing to me. She just don't know how much I am suffering for your lost yet I needed to be tough. Because I can't show to everyone that I wanted to breakdown. One of the reason why stopped blogging. I started this blog as a diary. I vent out and express through posting. Now I am doing it again. Maybe it could help me. Maybe not but I know someday I will be healed but doesn't mean I will forget you.

Aja!

The Problem with a Monetized Blog

Once upon a time a not so writer writing this post enjoys reading blogs. Personal blogs that has real stories and real experiences. She loves blog hopping, truthfully commenting, knowing other bloggers life updates and adventures and learning from their experiences. But that was ONCE UPON A TIME.

As I am having difficulties managing my time being a first time mother and instant two children, my passion in reading other's blogs suddenly disappear. As I recognize upon reading their post becoming more and more of an advertisement. Of coarse I understand, I as well as I am also doing advertised post, but for some I read , no more life story related post. For the sense of earning, the essence of real blogging (I assumed knowing the authors) decreasing its quality. The feelings that used to be incorporated in every post becoming null. I felt sad for I have known some bloggers in the blogosphere whom used to blog to chronicle life experiences.  I am not enjoying reading some blogs anymore if in one glance I saw that it is a sponsored post. Also it so rare that you can see a real helpful link. Most of the links incorporated in a post were advertisement. I am not against advertising and earning thru blogs. Actually I am hoping and praying that my blogging life will be fruitful. The thing that I am concerned about is reading realistic articles. Wrap with emotions posts. I used to read numerous blogs that I've known for years a diary blogs but visiting their blog now is like visiting a newspaper on the net. So dull, emotion less, and more links and ads. I am happy for them , for that means lots of income, but I know I am not the only one who wants to read real stories from their blogs. Especially those blogs that were very helpful such as parenting blog, tips and how to's etc. I guess this is one big disadvantages of bloggers having a Facebook account. They do not write on their blogs to share anymore instead post it on their Facebook account.*sigh*

OD Missed Me

Hahaha I'm feeling it too much.lol My title seem to be bragging how I am important to my recent company. It's because they don't want to give me up and I am feeling it too much. I'm mean and I knew that duh!.lol! I am so much thankful that they did appreciated me and my effort . The operation manager keeps on reaching me and bargaining to me not just to leave the company. This maybe the result of my 2 months best performance I showed. I already submitted a resignation letter to my supervisor prior I leave work. The reason I didn't want to discuss it with the operation manager because I know she will not let go of me . She's so nice that even extent my benefits though I am not yet a regular employee. I appreciated it much but I don't think I will deserve it all since I am not sure if I can get back to the company after I gave birth.As much as I don't want to leave them I have no choice but to decide. I chose to instead of compromising the health of my soon first born. I have a very delicate pregnancy which I least expected. But for my baby's sake I will give up whatever I am with now just to take care of him/her. Besides this is also a strict rule of my hubby. For now I will content myself helping my hubby running the business and some pay per click services offered online that I can be part of. Here in the blogosphere I have heard a lot of work at home moms. If they can do it, well I have faith that I also can. Wish me luck. *winks*

Summer Plans

Last year together with my perks in review center had a blast almost last complete beach party. I mentioned that almost last complete because some of those belong to that getaway were now in other part of the world. We were drifted apart by our goals. hehehehe.. It's our wishes that there will be a professional photographer that will capture our almost last moments and experienced a very accommodating and relaxing getaway into a different place like what a  Monaco grand prix packages can give.   For sure there will be a next time but maybe that will be held in next five years or so.  Fortunately by that time all of us can spend much of a grand reunion since by then we were all stable financially. *fingers crossed!*

For this year a summer blast with the family is what I am looking for. Good thing I am not the only one planning for it. It is so rare that we had this out of town plan. Since mom is a business addict and brothers had different getaways to attend. This time its us as a family that prioritizing for a getaway.

I So Love Canon!

I love pictures and taking pictures. When I found this stuff, it really hooked me. Currently i am using my canon digital camera. I am just saving for an SLR. This video really amazed me. For those memories lover.. 

Check this out! (= 

The Canon EF Lens Range

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Bad Fairy Turn into BAT

As each and every company nowadays held a Halloween party, ours never failed to do so. And yes, our rockin' angels and fairies wave participated. Teacher Harry packer organized  room designs with witchy Rain and naughty/neglected angel (lol) Iggy! The decorations and the event was really great. I never expects the outcome will be a grand. 

My costume supposed to be a bad fairy but  turned out into a bat.lol It was because Rain's wings was big, that seem to be my wing was compared into a bat. Nevertheless, though I turned into a bat I enjoyed the party! It became our topic while the cam whores (lol) including our trainer enjoying every shot.As a matter of fact she's the mastermind! hihihi Full of laughs and lot of pictures! Superb!

She, Rain, Aivy, Yna, Laine-E (our comm skills trainer) Mae,Shugz,Me and Marie

 Laine-E borrowed  Rain's wings.

Burn's Birthday Bash Contest

Gorgeous Burn of  Slogged Over Leisure  celebrated her birthday last 7th of October. Showing her gratitude to all of her friend who supported and keep supporting her in the blogosphere in a way of holding this exciting Burn's Birthday Bash Contest.  Just follow the simple steps and you’re way to win as much as $ 50 at stake . So come on and join the contest.

First Prize:

$ 30 via paypal

1000 EC credits (My Wishlist and Lifestyle and homemaking

3 months 125×125 Ad Space Scrap Collection, Slogged Over Leisure

3 pcs. of lipgloss  (Dhemz)

2nd Prize

$ 20 dollars via paypal

500 EC Credits  

2 months Ads Space 125x 125 Mapeh Org

2 pcs. lip gloss (Dhemz)

3rd Prize

$10 dollars via paypal (Nursing Uniforms)

200 EC credits

1 month space 125 x 125 Babycoy

Required Tasks:

• Blog about the contest with contest badge and sponsor. Just copy and paste the code below

• Subscribe to her feeds: Slogged over Leisure, Babycoy, MapehOrg,

• Place the contest badge on your sidebar.

• Follow the following blogs using google connect, Slogged over Leisure, Babycoy, MapehOrg, Lumad Basakanon

• Add Slogged Over Leisure, Babycoy, MapehOrg, Lumad Basakanon, The Safemode to your blogroll or blog lists.

• Leave a comment on here saying that you are joining the contest.

• Link the following sponsors.

MAJOR SPONSORS

♥ Slogged Over Leisure☺ Mapeh Org ♥ Lumad Basakanon ♥ Babycoy♥

MINOR SPONSORS

♥ Thoughts, Ideas, and Resources♥ Cacai Steps and Journey♥ Cacai M’s Place ♥ Me and My Passion♥Dias Family Spot♥ Life’s Perception and Inspirations♥ Chuchies hideaway♥ Scrap Collection♥ Woman Elan Vital♥My Wishlist

♥Lifestyle and homemaking ♥ Mom’s Conversation♥ MAPEH Homepage♥ Pink Go Green♥ In Pursuit of Success

♥ Shy Mixed Thoughts♥ Nursing Uniforms

Multiple blogs are welcome. Just follow all the required tasks per blog.

Fill up the form found here so I can count your entries. In determining the winners, random org will be used.

Contest Starts: October 1, 2010 Contest Ends: October 30, 2010 Announcement of winners will be on November4, 2010 Good Luck!

Crash and burn

I know, I know, it's not yet music Monday. But I just want this song to speak for me in here in my corner. Since can't find the right words to type this will do.

Hooked by Imortal

pictures from this site

 

I got hooked by this new tv program at abs-cbn. I really don't want to miss any single episode. I just love the old "Lobo" starring Angel and Piolo. I like it that much but unfortunately I did not make it to watch from the beginning. The first part of Imortal, all I can say  is about Romano and his wife is like as Bella and Edward start. Though it was not an original thought for the story, It does make sense and it's nice. I beginning to get addicted that I don't want to spend more time in blogging and browsing the web. I can say I am a certified Kapamilya abs-cbn. Because I love their prime time shows. I love Magkaribal, Idol,Noah and Kristine. The whole package. Maybe this is because I am bum at home.harhar. Magkaribal is so exciting since it only left  a month to be aired . Noah because Xyriel formerly Momay was in the story now. Idol beginning to be interested on it because the story starting to make sense to me. Kristine because I am once a Martha Cecilia fan and I love this Kristine Series. Hayy I wanted to stop this prime time addiction. I need to have a work. Oh in addition I am also starting to like glee. I now like their musics.waaa I am an addict. I am done with Grey's anatomy and Dr. House now with glee. argh what's next..I need to work..work..work..work..

My First Game

(Where am I? huh!just guess, I won't dare to say..hihihi)

taken at one of our game at Ateneo Field

Back when I was in college I was a varsity player of soccer, women division. I know I have already mentioned it here in my blog for the nth time. And I am going to share more for details for this post. ( please don't get fed up hahaha you can leave my blog as early as here but be back next please *wink*) Soccer is my first love. First game and will be my last I guess. The start of my passion at this game was just all an accident. I didn't mean to but I was there and I am at the stage of young adolescent that never surrenders. I experienced a very very hard and tough raining that almost sing my lungs out.LOL .Seriously that very hard. I ran five times every morning  into the whole  lot of Makati University. Every Friday we ran from Makati University which is JP Rizal extension St. passing through Kalayaan road to East Rembo and again passing through West Rembo going back to the university. I am sorry for those who were clueless on what I am saying about the vicinity. I do apologize I can't even calculate the kilometers,I can't even find on Google. Poor me, I'm not good at math.hihihi. Also every time that Milo will be having a fund run, we must be participating. That was just the simple training. All that I have mentioned about running is just a simple training. Cruel right?..:) Training about the game was more harder than running. One hard example, just imagine me before I am 5 feet tall and weight 87 lbs and again I have to run, run again, but this time with a team mate riding at my back and run in sprint. Unfortunately I am the only part of the team either boys or girls team weighting and has that height. So whoever will be at my back it weights more than mine. The agility training with the cones and the soccer ball and the tricks were more taught by our team captain. I have a deep friendship with this team captain of us. Friendship that will never ends though how far and how long we can not see each other.

 

A Letter from G

                                     

In the middle of my suffering from swollen eyes and face due to conjunctivitis, Though having a hard time reading this letter, I got to managed to capture, I am glad receiving this Adwords  Voucher but I am opt to use it. Though it was stated in the letter that it has no obligations thereafter using this voucher I am still doubted. Marketing strategy and I am into marketing wise.lol. I am afraid to risk since this involve money and credit card details. Said that this voucher cost 1500 up only til Sept. 30, 2010 since it's already October don't worry it was still valid but only cost less 500 until October 15, 2010. I don't know if this voucher can be transferrable but to those whom interested I am wiling to give it for free. Besides I've got nothing to use of it.

It's My First Time

(Peeking on my computer while mom is away.) Mom prohibits me to sit in front of my pc since I've got the worst case of sore eyes as per the doctor said.

Way back in schooldays I kept on praying to have a sore eyes. I have experienced that all of my friends have it and I was the only one not infected and I felt out of place.lol. I wanted to also have it so that I can have a valid reason to leave for school. When I am already at the nursing school I appreciated much that  I never got infected since this was a sign that I have a strong immune system against this virus. Still I am asking to experience this just this once. And now that I have it, I can say it was not that good and I hate it then. My upper lid were swelling and I can make an audition into any artist center since my tears easily fell down and it was continuously. This is my fourth day infected and both eyes were now infected and seems like my whole face were swelling. 

This shows that I am not as healthy as before. I am weakened by staying at home. lol. 

Got to end this post, I hear mom's foot steps. Will blog hop soon.

Ferry Sunshine

Glad that our connection was back. It really annoys me a lot receiving this kind of service from this internet provider As it immediately resumes I checked my blog as what I always did upon sitting in front of the computer and this surprise was the first thing that I saw on my dashboard. Thanks to Ferry for brightening my day after all those troubles that crushing my patience.With this Sunshine Award you really made me feel great.

Thank you so much Nene. And I am sharing these award to my dear Gene,Ate Rose, Faye, Mommy Liz, Chie, Jennie, Roxxy, Eden, Te Niko, Llamas Journal, Kayce, Cookie. 

THE RULES for this award are:
1. Save the image below and post it on your own blog.
2. Pass the award on to 12 fellow bloggers.3. Link the nominees.4. Let the nominees know they have won this award by commenting on their blog.5. Share the love and link to the person you received this award from.
 

MM: Billionaire

I guess everyone wants to be a billionaire.hihihi I'd like you to share this song that I was currently addicted to.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the actual post link here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Additional Reason Please

I am once again kinda feeling a little bit of depression. I don't know what to do and what to be next. Another intuition.OMG kindly give me additional reason to move forward. Will I or will not be. I am tired of rejection, disappointment and frustration. For all the times that I can say to myself I did my best. I can say I am not at my good self since I failed the nle but now that another chance of taking it I am confuse whether will I or not. Feeling not good again. I've got 4 days  to again think of it.

Forever Green

I've been waiting for this color's turn at GT. This is my favorite and I can share a lot about it. How I am so obsessed with this one.Green is considered the color of peace and ecology.

How the color green affects us physically and mentally
* Soothing
* Relaxing mentally as well as physically
* Helps alleviate depression, nervousness and anxiety
* Offers a sense of renewal, self-control and harmony

I can still remember when we had a duty at National Center for Mental Health, before we will interact with the patients, we must first have an activity about knowing our owns personality, strength and weaknesses. It is a pre-requisite requirement before we had to be deploy to the patients. In this activity,as our homework  we are told to draw our hand in a white paper and it's up to us what we wanted to design the drawing. 

That night I forgot to do my assignment and I was only reminded by my Bru when we are already at the venue. I immediately made mine and gracias to my Bru she was prepared with her art stuffs to lend me.She gave me crayons, color pencils, pictures and colorful stickers and scrapbook thing. She almost brought her art gallery.lol I am not in a hurry making it because we are an hour earlier to our Clinical Instructor. Of all the materials Bru and my group mates provided me, this is only exactly what I made.

 

When our C.I arrived she instructed us to pass our homework and discussed each  homework to us how was our artworks speaks for our personality. I was asked why I made this one while my group mates made colorful and extravagant designs and Why I chose green. She let me heard my explanation and afterward explain to me what was my artwork means in text of Psychology. She told me the fingers serve as triumphs. In between was my chosen color serve as my attitude if I am in the middle of trouble. She told me using this colors shows that I am at cool facing troubles in my life, I am not into panic mode. Thinking and trying all possible solutions and if it still fails, never surrenders.  That I still belief that everything will turn out good eventually. That was what she said and all my group mates agreed and testify for me to believe my self's description based on it.. This is just a justification that brightened me that my favorite color reflects me.

More of my green stuffs follows.

 My green blouse, this serve as my lucky blouse, everytime I am APPLYING for a job I always wear this one and I am always fortunate wearing this! 

Huny (huny is not the subject this time:)) with my nephew in his green barong, my brother's, sister in law's wedding. 

  Me and Bhadz at Mall of Asia grounds with my green (good for tummy-less) shirt.(those were the times.(sigh) 

My pear glace VS gift from Tess. 

Green fruit from our Pomelo Tree.

 

 My Marvin the Martian Pillow of our baby Mhing -Mhing.

  I can't share a lot more(konti pa daw yun hihihi), my dear friends who will read this entry will get bored.Isn't it obvious that I like green a HUGE?! ^-^

More green stories? Just click the badge and enjoy.. Ciao! 

(P.S include my signature below it's GREEN too!) ^_^