What's My Purpose

I'm turning 24 this November. I don't know why I feel like this. I am searching for my purpose. Turning 24 yet I can't prove anything on my existence. Visiting my old friends, colleagues on different networking sites making me more feel empty. I envy them.(Envy-even this attitude was not natural to me).  Either they had their different successful paths or own family. They were living for other people aside from themselves purposely. That was a for real next step journey. Why I am struck at this where I am. Still visions of my path was blurred. I am happy right now. With family,my guy and my friends. Yet still empty, because I know I don't have a life to be called mine. I learned of taking things slowly. Wait for the right time. Wait for my turn. Also learned never questions why to Him and never ask everything I wanted to but instead work for it. I know I've been so sinful on my acts from the past. Is this my karma now?.. If it is. Instead of mourning from it I will work for it. Turning everything positively. As long as I live I can still wait for my turn. I know I should be thankful cause I am still living. I just don't know how to get rid of this feeling of emptiness.

Just Have a Strong Faith on Him

As of this moment everybody or everyone praying for each' safety. Just have a strong faith on Him in the middle of this crisis. Never ask Him why. Everything is in purpose. It's His will. No matter how hurtful for us to be the outcome of what we are currently suffering just hold unto Him. In the middle of this tragedy He,we can only rely to. Don't take it as a punishment. He never ever punished us no matter what our sins.It is another lesson in life we have to learned. Again looking at the bright side we were again united by his will. Every one reaching everybody for help. Everyone show cares. I believe this is how He works.

What on Earth!!!

as my friend told me about her previous work and their products what was all about, I became curious about what she was pertaining too..the what on earth's product they were selling,,And yes it was a what on earth stuffs...they do have this Nose Gel Dispenser..Soft, fleshy rubber schnozeasily.fills with shower gel; comes with a foamy rich supply in green..Uncontrollabull. Phenomebull. And pretty damn adorabull. a bulldog stuff on its wacky poses..products were cool and a sort of creativity with fun..check out the rest on what on earth

He gave me what He thinks I deserve

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Tired of being invited for lot of work interviews.. I even not attended some(actually a lot) loosing hope that I may not fit for the position they were looking for and just wasting my time,money and effort.. I am almost in a stage of planning for a different activity I might be doing if I won't be able to have a job.. If He above won't give me a chance of working as of the moment... I don't know why did He always make a move when I am about to quit.. Maybe that was He's strategy on me.. Proudly writing in my page that He did gave me what He think I deserve... I do have a work in one of the prestigious and stable company in the country.. And I thank you Dear God for being so much good to me.. Promise I will do my part to take care of what you had given though it was far from my field..

Sorry I’m Late

Late of updating my blog due to busy hours at school and lack of resources plus the fact that I am enjoying Chin that much! Now I’ve been updating it coz we had our notebook ok and a visibility soon.. hahaha .. Thank you so much huny for giving me the things I never ask but you know I wanted.. I love you so much for that!

March 1,2009 I Miss My Room

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It’s been so long I am not sleeping with my own room.. I missed it a lot.. And as me and huny arrived we were quite amazed! whoa! it’s a beautiful house now. How I missed staying at home.. we spent the night at my room like was before where we were doing it illegal and our sin doing it but the difference now, it now not a sin anymore and legal at all.. hehehe.. I also miss fooling with my bro and chatting with my mom..how I missed Cavite as I was overjoyed on huny’s company and my friends..

Happy New Year

wow its a good start..whoa!..I started doing my post right after celebrating the new years eve..just fond of sharing what had happen..as a routine every New Year, we never had any dangerous fireworks at home..we prefer fountain and "lusis" which is so safe to used.. it's not that i am afraid of bloods but the fact of loosing a finger or being hurt by the firework/s that i was afraid of...that was one of my shot using my phone samsung sgh f500 model..isn't it nice?..we contented ourselves watching different fireworks display..besides only me, my mom and huny celebrated it in our house..my brother failed to make it with us together with his family because his son was not feeling well..and it would give them a lot of hassles traveling if they pursue to went here and celebrate with us..mom and i invited some of my nephew's and niece nearby... just chat with them while having our midnight merienda(not a media noche at all)..though we(mom and i)felt that it was quite unusual to celebrate that few we do understand that it was life's process and instances..and we have to cope with it and understand..besides Kuya tried any possibilities to be with us..Presence of Huny was always been appreciated..I pray and i will try my all to make this coming year the start of my very best years..well then, happy new year to all..

Carandang and Ortiz Nuptial

Accident is neither a encumbrance nor an obstruction to enjoy life events…hehehehe... after my post screaming bday gift here we are still enjoying life pressures and challenges.. Huny and I was invited to my brother’s sister in law’s wedding, its Glenda... She is a friend since then my brother married her eldest sister, my sis in law jenny...Actually the rest of their family(the Ortiz family) invited us… so were not hesitant to attend besides they want us to witness them and be part of it.. Hehehe...how gorgeous Glenda was!(I think I’m in love Lol..) They had this saying that the bride was the most beautiful lady in her wedding day and it was absolutely true. So many time s it was proven... a 26 years old, graduate of Bachelor of Science Major in accountancy.. A second to the eldest loving and very supportive sibling of 4 children of the Ortiz family… she was also one of the major sponsor of my brother and sister in law through their hard times… a much family oriented daughter… Now she is on her way building own family… He married the guy named Arnel as what Kuya said they were engaged for a long period of time… In order to be more prepared they chose to get marry if they had enough budgets for the expenses… (Unlike my brother’s wedding... hehehe) … So everything that day was planned… I never see her before that gorgeous… she looks like a celebrity… she is a morena babe… awesome… the venue were the same as my brother’s wedding also the reception... The new to the wedding was our nephew Carl Joseph! A volatile child wearing so extreme mood swings... he even got no pictures walking at the isle… tsk… tsk… tsk… or at least pictures together with the rest kids part of the wedding ceremony… Cj woke up 2 am prior the wedding day… the elders wanted him to sleep again so as he will be having enough energy for the event, but unfortunately at exactly the time the wedding starts he felt asleep… lots of people (majority their relatives) says that cj need almost half of the day sleeping hours to be conditioned… OM to the G! Our nephew almost spoils the wedding by his moods and his Aunt Glenda of coarse quite disappointed... But we all knew no one can blame the precious one... Just a deep sigh we can all do... since it was what had happened, I just need to captures him picture as a remembrance… my aim first in attending the wedding was to be Carl Joseph’s personal photographer as courtesy of Bru’s digital camera... as how he walks at the isle, pix with her aunts and other relatives and his precious smiles… but Cj was not in the mood all day long… he didn’t even want to be pictured by anybody strictly no exemptions!… the kid has his own attitudes!... “ maldito”… well he is Almendra blooded maybe that’s why…Lol… to Arnel and Glenda the event was perfect, the preparation and the programs… in behalf of the Almendra we are so very grateful and a pleasure to be part of your most especial day…

final destination..

Never thought I would believe about second life...Not before I am in to the accident. Before, there were no 2nd life, 3rd and so fort. I don't believe in those, only one life God had given. How I am taking care of my life after, well I am now always worried and so much careful. I am a freelancer, adventurous and a risk taker, that was BEFORE. Now I am afraid, I wanted to always take care. I’m not afraid of dying, I knew it will come if it is really your time but I am now afraid of risk. As much as possible I wanted to move freely but safe not unlike before. I’m CARELESS!! ..Learned now to value the most precious gift. I’ve been in so many places, risky and life threatening activities, dangerous stuffs, but not yet suffered to any injury or met a dangerous scenario which is really a matter of life and death. I told to my mom I am not supposed to change for the better. That maybe the Creator isn't yet ready to accept me. That was the thought enters in my mind an hour after the accident. Wherein I am planning a good mass with huny, then it happened. My intention was good but a big WHY fuzzes me. But just as I was wrong as honey told me. We were now a newborn Christian whom entitled to do MORE beautiful things than before. I always believe that everything happens for a reason, I don't want to ask why to Him or condemned/blame Him, as I attended the mass at Immaculate Mother of God Church, I whisper thank you to Him, though I still didn't know why it happen I know in myself I will find it eventually. I don't have to ask for answers I have a strong faith in his genius mind... Am trying to cope up, lessen my paranoia, try to back as before but I can't... I always worry. For what reason still a puzzle. I know I'm changing but I didn't know if it’s for the better or worst... I'm I a middle of confusion how to act or think positively. I am also aware that I am developing another personality disorder due to post accident trauma. I’d still believe I am tough and I can proceed and win this triumph!Good luck kHa!

my shocking post birthday gift

plans are well organized and been prepared.. the plans 5:00 am-honey and i need to wake up as that early to prepare in going to Tagaytay for the early mass.. 7:15 am-was the mass time at St. Anthony's Boys Village his Rector/friend Fr.Bubot will be holding the mass 9:00 am-we supposed to leave the SABV 9:00 am onwards eat in a cozy restaurant at Tagaytay as huny's treat to my post birthday gift going to picnic groove to look out and try the cable car now at the park enjoying moments together 7:00 pm-going home and bring some pasalubong for his family and for my mom.. the tragedy 5:00 am-honey and i woke up and prepare in going to Tagaytay for the early mass.. 6:30-we left our house 6:45-a shocking crushing vehicular accident happened! 7:00am onwards- we are at the St. Mazenod Hospital for first aid and emergency care done an skull appendicular lateral radiographic x-ray got a head injury facial bruises my head bleeds a lot(its a head injury expected it will bleed a lot) and my tooth broke!waaaaaaa i thought it wasn't that serious.. a simple pasta will be enough..in my suspense it was not..am afraid loosing my big front teeth..(if ever a tooth fairy may ask me what set of teeth i may chose to, i will still ask for my own unorganized teeth again).. the dentist told it was a serious injury..a major injury to be exactly!.. the tragedy scenario we were on our way,the tricycle runs so slow, i was about to complain cause we will be late for the mass it is a 45 minute travel to tagaytay...suddenly while on a sweet conversation with huny, we just felt a big bump at the back of the tricycle, and we both saw how the driver flew and smashed on the ground also with the other passenger sitting at the back ride..our instinct runs, we don't have the driver now i first think of controlling the tricycle..i look for the foot break but i am afraid of exposing my foot for i was more going to be hurt..and honey tried to control the tricycle by putting his right leg with much pressure on the ground tried very hard to control the speed of the tricycle to minimize the bump on the park van beside the road..i am afraid that we may be crushed with another fast and moving cars on the road that's why i think of controlling the tricycle, then we ended up bump in a van and a banana vendor cart..my head was crushed into the mirror of the tricycle that made it broke and cause a abrassion and lessions on my head and face..then that's it my tooth broke..but still were both concious..huny's leg got stocked between the tricycle and the van..then we were brought to the hospital..we were both assessed finely..done x-rays and aother assessment..i also went to a dentist for the fixation of my tooth..our body's both felt so tired and severe pain..yet we had to fix things, the demand, the medico legal and other stuffs.. indeed my post birthday gift..but still we both thankful for another life had given..

craving for twilight

i am not aware that I've already known bout the twilight, quite not interested at first but since my brother recall it to me bout the what were watching way back years ago, now i was refreshed..hehehe.. i've also read a blog about this maybe a month or two at wordpress. makes me more interested knowing that it was now on motion pictures..finally a movie :D..sort of remake already cause we have been watching these before as i've said..but now new castings and heard about the characters have a very good chemistry in the movie(i don't exactly know what this pertains to but it only adds my curiosity to watch the movie)..and the effects, setting, cinematography..whoa! some says great!so i am expecting a lot then..this is a vampire romance story..oh i also read about this(twilight) again to Joanne's page..that she was enjoying the book of twilight..in summarizing my post i have first my stimulants to recall about twilight and now i am craving for it in big screen..hmmm i have to find more suitable schedule for me and honey to watch this..so i have to wait for weekends then..hayy so far yet so near naman now??..Lol..and i've also seen the trailer and the making of the movie on the net..really a nice shots..i really want to watch this!..hmmmm weekends! weekends!

one proud tita!

last all saints day i was excited again meeting my nephew..it is our only nephew and only grandson of my mom and only child in our family but unfortunately due to my brother and his wife's decision and work schedule conflicts their son was left at my brother's in-laws wherein living a thousand miles away from the city(exaggerated?!!)hehehe.. we are not able to make visit him often times..that's why I'm always excited seeing him again.. the last time i saw him was about a year ago!...he not yet talk a lot. not yet walk and run and his too little..not so but quite..i don't even attend to his first birthday and also his baptism..i first saw our precious angel a week he was born via cesarean section, he was confined for about a month..supposedly my sister in law was not scheduled via cs operation..it was an emergency cs because it was overdue and the fact that her ob stated that she cant hear any fetal heart rate.. he was fist declared a stillbirth baby..but the baby has the ALMENDRA blood running into his vein and chooses to live with us and knew us..he fortunately and we so much thank full to the Almighty that our angel survive after suffering a lot from the hospital for bout a month..that was the first time i saw him..a week after..followed by about 9 months (the interval of seeing him was really that long)..he was of coarse 9 months young..then the next was when they(my brother and his family) went to our home for Christmas(same year)......then after 7 months was the next visit to our home..he was 1 yr and 5 months young ..then recently was last all saints(can't blame me if i am indeed that excited!..) i was so happy, amazed etc.. all in one emotions as i saw him..he was that big,can run, talk a lot and play..he was also easy to taught some basic jokes or mannerism..SO good and easy to caught up..he was that smart baby!..and one very very good thing about him, he never forgets me.my face ,my voice though he didn't see me that often..(maybe he always feel upon seeing me that i am his relative..hehehe..) because in other people even to those common one's he saw everyday in the village, he's quite aloof and not easy to came along child..he was not that easy to smile to anybody,only to those people whom really was comfortable with...as early as 1 year and 10 months he was that kind of child...

notice how he looks (he was having a conversation with me in this picture).. Adorable awesome baby! note: he was only 1 yr and 10 months but his height almost reached my waist..I'm only 5" i know..but his tallest among his batch mate babies!.. (wonder where he got some height..hehehe both his parents were not having a satisfactory heights!

Pursuit of happYness

The last thing we did on our last time together,(before semestral break and before swimming 4 escapade) we spent the night watching movie at our crib. and it touches us both upon watching this inspirational movie by Will Smith..we didn't intend to cry while watching but emotions really can't hold us back..it was really a good story..this movie definitely changed my perspective and my life. I never really thought a movie could do that. This movie was well done. I take a bow in respect to Chris Gardner for everything he's been through and for keeping his promise to be the father he never had. right from the start it grabbed me and when this scene arrived it directly went straight into my soul this is the essence of a fathers feeling about protecting his son.I've never really cried in a movie but this scene broke me down..

 

curing tardiness..

a celebrity unmask..hihihi

a shot before honey and i went to tiring but wonderful date..took dis shot beforehand so as it is am i not wasted yet. pretty duh?(no one allows to interfere)...hihihihi..dis is my page remeber..hehehehe..

a complete package...

how can't i be thankful ba nmn?..ang angas ng dating..hehehehe..idle days kc!.just decided to wrote something that boost me so much up up and away..hahaha..excessive watching of pokemon series every morning now this is the result..be part of the team rocket..jessie james and meow with wawa pet..hahahaha..anyweiz here's the post official beginning..ahem!..oozing sex appeal, brain, figther attitude, body beautifulnot ugly but not so pretty me(hwuahahaha)a not so late career, a loving guy, understanding and best momcool brothers, friends around..almost perfect!..but of coarse for some time problems and conflicts were always around..hassles are in everywhere,everytime..it is for the person how he/she or rather ihandle those, foresee and accept in life..how,what it is..so in short itz the mind that always and really matters..di totoo ung sinsabi ng girl group named sexbomb na "kung ano ang nasa puso m sundin mo"..heart doesn't have the ability to think, even feelings was manifested by the brain kaya!..heart is just a heart..with aventricles, aorta, 4 circulation, fxns in systems and organs,supply of blood,oxgen and everything....nothing to do with decision makingand failures..hehehehe

what's the sense???

what's the sense?..a question i often silently utters pertaining to peeps who were such deep "inggetera/o"..what's the sense of doing such stuff?,a deed?..something not necessarily the one used to do but becoz it was "in",he/she will trying to be like....labo nuh?!..dis is a post not pertaining to anyone..just a factual question of mine that sinks through me and keep me bother for some time.. why do i know some peeps like dem?..i don't hate them but they making ways for them to be hated....why do i care for those stuffs nga ba?...it is simply becoz, tao n q n ngeevolve at nag iisip n beyond things..batang makulit..batang mausisa..batang matanong..un daw aq..na everytime naiisip q n bkit ganun ang description sken napapatanong n nmn aq..isang araw pag gising q nasagot q n din..kasi ganito tlaga q!..d man aq hinubog n ganito pero maituturing n isang talino un..hahahaha..angas nuh..(walang papalag page q to!)lol..seriously speaking it is a real innate knowledge daw(i've read it from Jean Piaget writtings)..born filled curiosity head over heels un aq!...curiosity migth kill a person daw..sabi nga mitsa ng lyf un..bakit nmn d pa q nmamatay??..napag alaman q n rin sagot dun..masamang damo daw aq sabi ni honey!..harhaharhar..ang totoo nyan i know how to manage my life..kea q nagsusurvive!..proud to say "i've been's" negas man or positive....i'm happy..fullfilled and eventually will be contented..its life nga ei..

How to deal with a difficult person

Having dealt with the most difficult people ever in my life i came to the conclusion that sometimes we call a person "difficult" when we fail to understand them or when we fail to deal with them. But as I met more people i started to realize that some people have certain combinations of personality traits that makes it impossible to deal with them even if you are a communication skills expert. The only way to deal with those people is to understand these difficulties they have in their personalities then to confront them with it. Whether the difficult person thinks that he is always right or whether he believes he knows anything, trying to convince him with your opinion at the situational level will always fail, because unless you face them with their own difficult personality traits they will keep thinking that its the situation that has to be blamed and not them. Mr I know everything: Thinking that he knows everything doesn’t make him a difficult person, but when the person knows nothing yet has this belief then he is a typical difficult person. Mr i am always right: if someone is stubborn in addition to being a narcissist, he will then think that he is always right and he will never change his mind especially if someone tried to pressure him. Mr and Mrs victim: lots of people think that they are victims but some of them refuse to stop playing the victim’s role even when solutions are offered to them . Those are what we call drama queens, they feel bad when anything happens then keep playing the victim’s role even if everybody around them kept trying to help them out. the rest... There are lots of other types of difficult people but the principle that makes them difficult remains the same, they have two personality traits that together block the road to any further negotiation with them. Those people will always keep thinking that they are doing nothing wrong and that others carry the blame until someone who is brave confronts them with the truth.there is only one way to deal with such people, confronting them and telling them about their complexes, if they didn’t respond then you should never deal with them. Those people will still act the same way until someone draws their attention to what they are doing or until they realize that everybody is being repelled away from them because of their behavior.The important advice i have for you is not to confront them while arguing with them,simply because this will result into a fight and their defensive complexes will become activated. If you want to convince them that what they are doing is wrong then you have to pick a time where they are feeling happy and relaxed so that they listen to you to the end. Don't lose your temper or shout not to give them any reason to resist or to activate their defenses. Once you tell them so, they will start to have doubts and then as they face life situations they will reconsider that you have told them. Whenever they will come across a new situation they will remember your words until one day they will discover that they are doing something.it don't need to make someone believe what you are saying immediately in order to convince him, you just need to make him have some doubts and then the other life situations he will face will do the rest of the job. Confront those people at a time where they can listen to you, because its the only way to deal with them. As we were having our duty at a psychiatric ward i realize this stuffs..and learned how do people suffer psychosis, the questions why.what,how answered..of coarse psychiatric patients are differ from normal ones, but those patients was once a normal then..

women crisis..

many women have been victims of circumstances, which stem from their socio economics positions and roles in society... a part from having to handle common problems at home and at work either at school, situation of women is further affected by societal discrimination including the danger of being casualties of inhuman acts or violence such as rape, wife battering and other abuses commonly suffered by womens... women must thereof be empowered on how to handle difficulties in life through building their problem solving and decision making abilities as well as proving or strengthening their family and peer support systems, especially during extremely troubling times or periods in their life...

bursting out for good and for peace!..

too much stress for the past week..uber ang conflicts at issues between me and huny..so far we did made to succeed out of it..it is really a good conversation that fix it all..glad i've made it to tell huny everything that stressed me..everything he forgots that hurts me.. everything he shud've known earlier before and everything he does that unintentionally hurts me..conflicts between us were not that easy but we knew we can fix it together, hand in hand.. but unfortunately there were people who was born to ruined somebody's happy life even if u were not doing anything against him or them!..he's envy..envy for the fact he hisself sees.. envy that were on the ryt path and he wasn't the same..because we think and planned..and we always wear our brains with our hearts!..envy for everything..and all he can do is to ruined our life to be close to his sitch.. though he was a close rather said a bestfriend, he doesn't have any business within our relationship!.he doesn't knew even a thing about us..he has no rigths to give a bullshit advice pertaining to one person he didn't knew at all!especially if the matter was sensitive and not needing anybody to realize aside from the two components of the rel..he's a shit!..he's pathetic..at first i felt mad to him but eventualy i got pity on him..I PITY U "DUDE"!cause he doesn't have anything ryt now..maybe a so called true love yes!but how far love will provide u pipol?..can it be true love with disposition?(like us?)..love with a way to success?(we love and do hoping together)..love with direction?(we wanted an accepted life)..is it enough to always hide?u can't even brougth u'r small family at u'r home..u can't even said to the world that he is ur son and she is u'r woman,can't even marry..u can't even walk without hesitations..u were down but stil don't admit the reality..that's why u did such stuff!...he did to be like him..miserable..i am sorry for those who were with you..they were better if your off..lol..with a highest intensity wearing of most boastful attitude in the whole wild world doing such a disgrace made him more pittyfull.. huny and i don't want to call quit to us and forgot everything we have been through juz because of that shit that's why we decided to solve it in one arrangement.. FORGET THAT CERTAIN SHIT BROUGTH MISERY TO OUR RELATIONSHIP NEGLECT WHAT THE HELL HE DID/SAY...start a new one without them..neglecting him not means i'm a coward he might be "correct" as his words but not to hurt him though he did hurt me..elliminate conflicts and don't discuss it..forgetting them is enough for his payment on me(it is also hard to forget the only people knew u well,the real u for 6 years,but that SHIT leaving me no choice,besides my relationshop with her remains till last and we know it is mutual..we were not friends nor bestfiends but we we're called to be soulmate.. and not seeing each other even a talk does not means forgetting..it's just accepting that we were trapped in a life we chose and we had to contuinue no matter what cause somehow we are both happy.)..i know how much they value their(huny and the shit)9 consecutive years of friendship to a 2 year smooth,loving and faithfull relationship and am thankful that huny can do it!for us!for good! as long as we were together..so that means if we will last forever, then he and she we're erased to our biography details!(i love you little baby i used to took care,someday it will be ok besides u were different from him!)

..huny promised and so do i!..this is for good and for peace....

witch yoo-hee..

haru chenelyn nakakakilig uu kaso nakakaumay ang palabas na ito!totoong mganda xa kaso ang pangit ng ending hindi nakakasatisfy!haixx nakakaasar lang!..cnubaybayan p nmn namen ni honey para madisappnt lang..

angels

thank you for coming into our lives..hope to be with you or rather have one of you soon cute angels..