The Villain of the Secret Affair

I am a little (just a little promise🙂) upset as I am writing this post. As when I try my best not to be mean, not to talk about ot yet I heard statements that I am then the villain of their secret affair.
I am really amazed how she can managed it silently. And just because I am loud then I am now the bad one here.
1. I am genuinely true to you initially, what about you?
2. I don't give a damn about your so called BEST FRIEND with BENEFITS affair that was just started 4 months ago 😳 best friends with common interest right?! to FLIRT!
3. Accept it, you're a flirt don't make excuses about it.  Can't contain yourself without hanging out with him.
4. You said you don't care about him let me give one of the most plastic scenario:
    He's ignoring you for a week and you are worried even asked me as to why and sent him a pm then you made a consistent effor! 👏🏻
   What about me? we've been close since then, if you see him as a friend and the same thing  to me why is that, I (we) never felt your consistency. Good job flirt! 😐
5. Everything you told me when we were in the getting to know stage was a BIG LIE 🏆
( I can add screen shots here 🤔)


You will never like it if I boiled up with your paawa and epal drama making me  the reason why you're secret affair is no longer a secret. I haven't done anything yet! Wala pa! I was so nice enough forgiving you about accusing me, cause you don't really matter at all. But don't fill up my tumbler of kindness( tumbler lang un) cause I can directly talk to your spouses don't push me too much Harotcheena!

P.S
sorry for posting this, I just would like to vent out and help myself to cope with this feeling that I would like to reveal everything but still I am worried about their family.  I know Karma is approaching. Juat don't push me too much or I can be your Karma.

   

Relaxing Sunday

 

I feel so stress recently. There were a lot of things bugging me. As of the moment I feel so helpless and things is not under my control. Yet I won't give up. I can rest, take a deep breath and I know I can surpass this again as I always did. I have them and the rest that's all that matters. Go kha!

Be Courteous Enough

This is not about election topic. There were a lot of bloggers who posted their insights and I don't want to join them anymore because I still value the thought of "taboo ". Sorry but this is just about my thought of disagreeing to a statement pertaining to bloggers.
 I've been blogging for a decade and it doesn't sound good to my ear. I am offended. As a blogger I used to read reviews about anything, you can sense if it will be truthful or just for the sake of a paid post. But if you're not a blogger don't express your opinion as if  it was a fact and to a point of sharing it to others as if it was genuinely FACT. We all have our rights to our opinion but maybe you can think of others may knew a lot better than you do when it comes to a different thing. Again as what the saying goes , if you can't say anything good or just for the sake of humiliating an opinion of the others have the courtesy to keep silent.

Jesus Loves Me

Photo grabbed from Courageous Catie Facebook account

My title was not actually from me. This was from the bravest little girl whom I never met yet impacted my life a huge. I may not seem to be religious nor may obviously reflect God on my doings but I believe to myself that I have a strong faith. I know it wasn't enough just to say that "I have faith". But, incorporating it to my life, daily habits and practice is necessary to show how strong it is.

This blog has been my diary since a decade. I share my thoughts, frustrations , achievements and sadness. This has been left abandoned quite a while when I felt that I cannot make any better to share good thoughts but purely frustrations , anger and negativity. And for all those time I felt shame to myself then I got to know about #courageouscatie . Like as well as to others,she seemed to be an angel to me in a timely manner that makes me realize how lucky I am and I should be grateful as always.




My brother who died of a motorcycle accident

Since 2014 I always told to myself that I was never been okay. Since my brother died, then my mom got sickly, my son had a Hirchsprungs then my eldest daughter got sick followed by my husband as well. And the situation go round and round repeatedly until today. Some has a period, such as the death in the family. But the unstable health condition still continues specially to mom and my kids. I Am financially challenge, physically exhausted and emotionally battered . In time that I get used to heard about this little girl.

My daughter and my mom

Sometime in March this year, mom got hospitalized with enlargement of the heart to consider pleural effusion, got no one to look after the kids, husband and I have to go to work to financially sustain the family. The business just had bankruptcy. When my boss posted a tribute to her posting a yakult bottle. Then I started to stalked jayjay's Instagram and the Facebook page. Each day that I checked whenever I have time , I always cried. From day 1 of being hospitalized until it gets severed then to finally have a diagnosis and up until today. I wasn't with her during her battle but I can feel the pain and how courageous she was.  And I admire her for that courage and wearing a brave clean heart. I admire her parents for raising her that way. And I admire Jesus the most for having created Catie and let the world knew about her in his ways.
I may not be able to write Feliz and Jayjay or show up in Catie's wedding day but in my heart I am so much thankful to the Lucas family for being an inspiration, giving me an ounce of courage and dozen reasons letting me aware how Jesus prepared me to this earthy life and given me a wonderful people in my life. Now, part of our bed time stories and Facebook browsing is the story of Catie that I am sharing to my kids.

Back into Reading

I once love reading. Back when I was young (so matagal na yun lols) and when I was bum at home for my first born, I used t read articles and news online. I am not so much into hard copy such as books nor magazines but time to time I also checked those. But browsing is the most that I love. Things or articles that made me interests makes me keep on coming back on that web page. Recently my love for reading seems coming back. I downloaded ibooks and pdf of the stories , short poems that interests me. I may not look a book worm (cause its not a bookworm db. eBook-worm hehee)  to others and this some sort of a joke but I am. Funny how my interest little by little getting back on me. I think I am starting of getting back my old self.. hehehe

A Slowly but Surely Comeback

I blog hopped this morning while I am looking after my kids. I dropped to Nene's blog . I feel renewed dropping by on her page. I just realized though most of us me , Jean and Nene domain blogs left undone, Nene continue her blog in a free domain site. Then reading her unstoppable journey makes me feel like I miss blogging again. I have so much to tell. To share. Instagram or  Pinterest  not satisfies me as I share my stories from posting pictures. I still don't have excess time from the hats of being a wife, employee, a mom, a daughter and a friend yet I just realize traveling  more than an hour is enough to complete my posts. Dressing up my blog excites me again. I did lost the opps that makes blogging a plus but I know I can win them back or welcome new ones.
Soon to be mom of two (Ferry) thank you for inspiring me. I will try to update the lovers, Lyxn and Klyd's blog and if not too much I will revive the Mommy Kharen's blog. :)

Diary Again

I feel so down this has been the longest but I know I am able to manage it. I always think that there were others suffering worst than what I can think of. I don't feel comfortable writing the reasons behind but letting me typed in the feeling, made me feel somehow better with the back ground music of Slapshock, Quezo, Wolfgand, Urbandub and other local rock band. Suits my ear and my feelings. I don't know why I feel so comforted with these kind of genre. But the thing about listening to it again makes me miss my brother so much. It relaxes me and forget what I am into but misses him and change the feeling into sadness of missing him. Sigh* cannot get everything in one shot ayt?. I almost tried posting in my account about tired of getting strong. Yet I deleted it. It shows signs of weakness I know and spread negativity online and to my friends news feed. So I thought not a good idea. My blog is my diary. And not everyone in my fb can see my blog. Not everyone will be interested anyway. That means I can still express my frustrations here. 

Starting Again

I never lost my passion in blogging. Let's just say I've been on break and too much occupied. Earlier today after a very tiring morning, from giving the 2 kids early needs, meal , bath and play time while looking after the shop. I feel so tired yet facing Facebook from time to time makes me more tired. Then I realized why not blog again?. It may not be that consistent again and it may not be a domain but this is where I started. I love documenting my story and reading it to the future how it was before.  So here I am gain starting to typed in while the terrible going 2 is asleep and the monster three ate is with with mom to the mall. 

What If I'm Gone

I never wished but just a thought. When Kuya died I was so overwhelmed to the number of people who grieved with us. He was that good that a lot of people wanted to be with him even on the last few days possible. Wondering' if I will have the same or even almost half of the number who visited him. Aside from my mom, whom I am sure of will grieve on me, I cannot guarantee my kids will miss me. They must've thought I am just at work. My husband, oh he can manage without me or should I say okay without me cause I am a pain in his ass when I am around. I know right I am not that good. That when I read a graphic showing "that day when everybody loves you" I smiled it may be the day I will know to whom I've been good.

Chill

When I was young, I say every word I wanted to say, I post, I shout out. I don't know what had happened that I am suddenly changed. Why other people didn't the way if this is part of maturity? I am just wondrin' how come I can now keep things over myself. I now have good length of temper Whenever I felt like I needed to release, I just pray and afterwards I feel lightened, yet problems aren't solved yet.  Usually the term chill for me is like having a bottle of beer in hand, laugh and chat. Now chill means differently , it's making things light whenever how heavy it is. Thinking at the positive way around and be thankful that I have lighter troubles than the others.