Friday, May 7, 2010

7th Dilemma

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May 07,1997


10:00 am 
Aunt Zeny and I went to Cancer Bldg at Philippine General Hospital. We brought you foods and fruits. 

10:30 am 
Aunt Zeny leaves me in your room. Mom went to the diagnostic floor to check for any scheduled chemotherapy for you. We were left together and started a fine  conversation even though you cannot speak well. During that time the finest released and introduced car of that generation was the van branded as Besta. You told me that when you recovered from that illness, the next thing you will bought for us would be it. I was so happy. At the heart of a 12 year old child I see all your  words to be realistic, besides I am  your only girl and you give all your promises to me granted. Neither one has broken. I assisted you  ate the  orange I brought for you. Soft drinks were prohibited but you insisted mom to buy you some.

12:00 pm 
The last dine with you. You are advised to be NPO diet (nothing per orem) because you were supposed to undergo a treatment but you never cared. You wanted to eat with me and mama.


12:30 pm 
I have to leave. You whispered me a word. "I will be leaving" I ask where. You said "just there" I ask when will you be coming back? You just smiled at me. And I  said okay and kissed you goodbye.


Went back to Ant's house where we stay when you were confined at the hospital. I felt so happy for that little time I spent with you. I never felt anything unusual. 



7:00 pm
 People (your siblings) having a commotion at Aunt's house. Landlines keeps rang . Aunt's and Uncles passing through and leaving. Though me and my cousins busy playing we conclude that there's something going on. All your 9 siblings been out of 
my sight.

11:00 pm 
The neighbor called my Aunt and asked me to be with my her because it needs to be. Aunt talked to someone on the telephone afterwards gave it to me. It was mom. She say prepares for Papa's stuff and go back home at Cavite. ( I used to travel Manila-Cavite-Taguig at that age because mom said it's a must that I learned and I NEED TO ) 



Nobody told me directly what had happened. They just told me that Papa leave. He always leave! He's a seaman. It was his job! For me what they were saying were jargons at my young ear. Until when I arrived at our home( Cavite),  the neighborhood helps us preparing our house for a wake. During that time I never understand his last words to me about leaving. But one thing is for sure , he never leave me hanging. He said good bye but it's just that I don't really understand what it means.


It's been 13 years ago but this scenario I keep on dreaming before the exact date . I do accept everything but I can't help to remember this. As much as I wanted to forget this date I can't. You always remind me in my dreams. You never know how much I missed you. We'll see each other in due time. I miss you Papa. 


Love,

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