Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Am having a hard time last week, lots of mixed emotions, sadness and halfway bitterness, but mind first, this was not pertaining to love life matters huh! stress,little/nonsense argues,shortcomings, conflicts arises, i supposed to expects it a everyday concepts of life,but the hard thing was, i almost wanted and think of giving up..let it be and don't mind those..some conflict exacerbate the problems and some leads to another complications.. bad thing about my month(NOVEMBER) i am being more emotional and felt weak,also felt like a different person as i was.. i don't know exactly what was the reasons i just felt that way.. all through out this month..haixx. i really don't know and from then till now or maybe forever i will remained clueless. i don't even know the predisposing factors why, how can i make such interventions for myself?, indeed really having a hard time solving these..after i was decided to post some of my bitterness a very happy moments drives along that lead me to post this late and less frustrated and depressed mode.. funny but true.. how really God ironically.. I'm feeling low then a good thing comes along and never think of my sadness at all..what a really blessed me.. i was damned emotionally hurt, mom and i had some argues also me and huny, then i felt bad with my friend(some) i hate the situation where i am in(not all ,an specific privately matter am pertaining).. all of a sudden a great news to brighten my day,my week the rest of the day left for the month..my nephew coming home..i am not fond of kids(actually i was known of being a witch on kids of our neighborhood)..but i do love most our own..hehehe only few kids/baby i was fond of.. cj knows how to make me smile.. kids are really angels..certified proven!..so happy to hear him calling me loud and proud TITA.. as he wakes up my hearts pounds full of joy as he prefer seeing me first rather than her mom and dad and tita seth..how i love eating with him..i don't need to fed him..he's a very independent baby, he knows how to eat alone with spoon and fork as early as 1 yr and 9 months..i love how he cries when i am about to leave him..and love hearing how he says "BABA(BYE-BYE) THANKS(pronounced as tAnks) TITA".. how he understands me when i am sleepy but still wanted to be at my side, how he wanted only me at his cart when we were at the mall, how he wanted only me as a companion all along..i really appreciates his acts though it was really tiring..besides it only happens once in a while...when its about for them(my brother and his family) to leave, i gave him a ring and a cheerful loud "TITA" blast off on my phone's speaker!..Indeed a great feeling..really makes me feel that i was really blessed..having them, being born, living my life..he adds spices on my life to keep going on..be strong enough and dream more..as i was said i was almost at the point of quiting, back as a mean me, irresponsible mode and insensitive, but cj gave me the strength not to be it instead be a more good tita, more good person..thanks baby..tita always loves you a huge! i'll post some treasured and sooooo happy moments with my baby soon..